An encounter can leave a lifelong mark – how to overcome difficult situations involving presence
Genuine presence is a superpower in working life, but encounters also involve the greatest risks of failure in relationships and managerial work. What are the challenging situations related to presence at work and how can you cope with them? We interviewed a specialist in interaction skills and workplace interaction, organisational psychologist Tuuli Viranta.
Arising from a human biological need, genuine presence is considered the superpower of humanity and the most important resource in working life, which binds people together, improves well-being at work and increases productivity.
On the other hand, occasions of presence also carry the greatest risks of failure in interpersonal relationships and supervisory work. Negative encounters can have a significant impact on both the company’s operations and people’s personal lives.
Managers spend up to 20-40% of their working time dealing with challenging situations.
According to organisational psychologist and psychotherapist Tuuli Viranta, who specialises in work-life encounters and interaction, challenging situations often relate to changes or conflicts within workplace communities, practices perceived as unfair or an individual’s poor behaviour or work performance.
”A challenging encounter is always also a great opportunity for a supervisor. At best, these occasions can create experiences that leave a strong positive imprint, empower and help to act in new difficult situations”, Viranta stresses.
The most common reason for failed encounters
The professional who has been solving problems related to workplace communities and the human mind for more than 20 years says that although challenging encounters are always unique, four universal pieces of advice apply to almost all of them – intervene in problems as soon as possible, listen and try to understand, confront and process your own feelings and focus on the present moment instead of dwelling on the past.
”It is good to try to remain calm in the situation and avoid personal attacks and blame. The most important thing is to listen actively, which helps to understand the root cause of the problem.”
Understanding is best achieved face-to-face when you are present through all your senses.
According to the psychologist, problem-solving situations fail in work communities most often because the person going to an encounter is not aware of their own emotional state.
“This often comes to a head when a manager meets an employee without understanding which feelings and issues are being conveyed to the employee, and without knowing the state that the other person is in.”
Before a meeting, Viranta always advises people to consider what they want to convey during the encounter. If you cannot control your own emotional state, it is best to postpone the meeting so that you can focus entirely on the other person and listen to them.
It is equally important to arrange a face-to-face meeting – interaction is most effective and misunderstandings are reduced when participants are fully present through all their senses.
More spontaneous contacts
As remote work and digitalisation have reduced the number of physical encounters at workplaces, raising challenging issues has also become more difficult, according to Viranta.
Previously, people might have mentioned in passing a matter that has been bothering them when meeting in the corridor. Now that there are fewer chance encounters, matters easily become prolonged and escalate. And if the supervisor arranges a remote meeting about the matter, the approach may be perceived as a reprimand.
Viranta encourages supervisors to stay in close contact, as this makes it easier to discuss small observations in the course of other matters.
We should talk more about what has been achieved than what should be done.
In informal encounters, Viranta recommends focusing more on what has been done than on what should be achieved.
”One of the biggest sources of work motivation is the feeling of achievement. These days, employees are struggling with feelings of inadequacy. Especially for young employees, making even small achievements visible is important”, she emphasises.
Apologising forges a connection
According to Viranta, challenging encounters can easily create a vicious circle. This means that the supervisor communicates poorly with the employee, who feels offended but instead of telling the supervisor they talk to everyone else about it.
”It is the supervisor’s responsibility to make themselves approachable. In a good encounter, both parties can ask each other whether they understood what was said correctly if they feel they have been mistreated.”
A supervisor can also make it easier to give feedback by exhibiting a human-centric attitude. At the end of a challenging meeting, a supervisor can even ask what the conversation felt like, offering an opportunity to rectify any misunderstandings. A supervisor can also openly say that they sometimes feel inadequate at work.
A humble supervisor who also makes mistakes is usually the easiest to approach.
However, the psychologist stresses that working life is about the community rather than individuals, so not all solutions will please everyone. The most important thing is openness, talking about things and showing compassion.
“The supervisor can say that they understand that the other person feels things are not fair and that this is the best we can achieve together.”
Great teams are built together
The better people understand each other in the workplace, the fewer conflicts arise. In order for mutual understanding to emerge, sufficient presence is required.
”The role of a supervisor is to facilitate encounters where people get to know each other in both work and private roles. This is especially important in multicultural workplaces where language limits the emergence of understanding and the finding of points of contact.”
According to the psychologist, it is equally important to schedule time and meetings with the people you find most challenging. Such persons may be easily ignored.
“Ignoring people strengthens the feeling of not belonging. If, as a supervisor, you recognise someone you don’t have good chemistry with, involve them and try to get to know them beneath the surface. This often leads to an improvement in team spirit across the whole group,” explains Viranta.
Tuuli Viranta is an organisational psychologist and psychotherapist specialised in workplace encounters and interaction, who has worked for more than 20 years in the area of organisational leadership, well-being and development of the emotional climate. In her work, she makes extensive use of the theories and practices of psychology, business and psychotherapy. Viranta’s mission is to strengthen the connection and understanding between people and to encourage people to make meaningful choices for themselves even in difficult situations.
Real estate investment company Sponda wants to shake up working life by highlighting the importance of the humankind’s most important value, presence. What can we achieve as individuals, communities and society if we are truly present in what we do? What happens if we lose our most important asset once and for all? In its communications, Sponda also shares concrete instructions for practising presence and reflective interaction, building an organisation characterised by a sense of presence, and designing premises that create a sense of community. Sign up for our newsletter to receive all content directly to your inbox. You can also find the publications on sponda.fi.